A group of creditors keep calling our house for...
Me: The answering machine is full again. Those stupid creditors keep filling it up.
Husband: This is getting ridiculous. You know what? The next time someone calls I'm just going to start having phone sex with them. Guy/girl, I don't care. "You want Susan? What else do you want? You want my big $&@!?" That'll get them to stop calling us.
"Fuck Me Running"
A statement that always makes me laugh. Why? I have no idea. This completely random thought brought to you today by my sister.
The cops just found a teacher and a student having sex in a car. Why...– The Husband
An email conversation with the Husband in which he...
Me: Which table do you like? [sends pics and links of end tables.]
Husband: Where is it going? I like 1 and 3. Is there a number 7? You had a number 7 but no link. P.S. You're hot.
Me: Next to the couch on the chaise side.
Husband: Crazy question: The one we have is no good??
Me: No. I hate that table. I hate cleaning it. I hate looking at it. I hate that is has glass on it.
Husband: Yeah!!! Me too!!! Fu*k that stupid fu*king table...I hope it dies and goes to table HELL!!!! ERRRRRR
sashayrae: Song of the Day: Drake -Fancy Cause...
When I’m a grown up, like 36 ‘cause that’s really old, I can...– The 5 year old
A conversation in which the 5 year old boosts my...
Son: Kamryn's mom is hot.
Husband: I've never seen her.
Son: Next time you see her look at her. She's hot.
Son: Why couldn't you marry her?
Husband: Because I married your mom. And I think she's hot.
Son: Nope. Kamryn's mom is totally hotter.
This is Monkey Bingo. Also known as My New Favorite Game. My son received this as a birthday gift a few months ago. And it is now the game of choice on our family game nights. We’ll all huddle around in a circle, the baby included, for a few rounds of Bingo right before bedtime. There’ll be high-fives exchanged. Low-fives and behind-the-back-fives. Screams of: ...
When I was younger my mom would tell me, ‘Kate, you can’t have fun all the...– Kate Moss (via pinkseersucker)
noraleah: I have a theory that when two people fall in love in New York City it...– (via mariellie)
We may not be able to stop all evil in the world, but I know that how we treat...– President Obama (via brooklynmutt)
He was just kidding:
Husband: You're going to get all your music from Rachael, right? You know she has the whole Katy Perry album.
Me: I don't like Katy Perry.
Husband: What?! She's hot.
Me: I don't think she's hot and I don't really like her music.
Husband: Kill yourself.
Husband: I sent you a really cute picture of [son]. It's great. You should tumbleweed it.
Me: I don't post pictures of the kids.
Husband: oh, that's right, you're a wacko.
Can we change [the baby’s] name to Kamryn?– The 5 year old, wanting to name the baby after his girlfriend
Change of Plans
This weekend we were supposed to be in New York to visit with our much missed family. But instead we will be staying right where we are. So while my weekend was supposed to look like this: It will instead look like this:
Apparently the Husband checks in on this blog
(phone rings at work 5 minutes ago)
Me: Hey, Hon!
Husband: We can totally get a minature pig. Get on that.
Me: Seriously? Don't even joke about it because I'll have one of them arriving at our doorstep in no time.
Husband: As soon as the dog dies we're getting a small pig. A small pig named Bacon.
2011 is our year
Me: I totally have our family motto for 2011. We're going to say this every time we have to do anything that needs to get done, we're facing something we don't want to do, we're scared of something, you know. Repeat after me...I'm...
Husband: I'm assuming that by "family motto" you really mean yours and mine. I'm not sure having a motto with "fucking" in it is so appropriate for a 2 and 5 year old.
Me: Yeah, you're right. So that will just be our motto.
While I totally believe that good things come to...
I also believe good things come to those who go get them.